Super Smash Bros With Dialogue!
by David Noklevername
Summary: Let's face it: Subspace Emissary sucked. But, now we see it WITH DIALOGUE! All characters are owned by whoever has their copyright.
1. The Crappy Tutorial Level

Super Smash Bros. Brawl, But With Actual Dialogue!

Kirby and Mario are in the Arena for literally no reason!

"Hello-a Kirby!" Mario said to his puffball acquaintance.

"Puyo!" Kirby replied.

"What the hell are you saying?" Some jerk in the audience yelled.

Kirby then coughs, quite loudly.

"Sorry, what did you say?" Kirby said to Mario, "My throat was all stuffy."

"What-a throat?" Mario taunted.

"Oh snap!" The same jerk from the audience yelled.

"Oh, it is ON!" Kirby bellowed at Mario in reply to his, extremely crappy, insult.

The Player then picks between playing as Mario or Kirby for the fight. Seeing as Mario's Great Balls of Fire royally suck, and Kirby is a freaking Vacuum alien, you get to pick from two separate types of suck. I pick Kirby.

Kirby punches Mario repeatedly without much difficulty, due to the fact that it's the beginning of the Game, and so every single thing sucks but the player. So, the opposite of real life.

"Yay illegal Alien!" The Audience cries.

"Boo!" Dick Cheney screams. Dick hates illegal aliens, right? I don't know politics.

"You-a suuuuck!" Mario yells at Kirby.

"Yes I do."

Kirby then puts on some wicked shades.

"Yeaaaaaaaah!"

Kirby is officialy bad ass. Yes, I just made a C.S.I. reference. Deal with it!

Mario turns into a Trophy, because this game is P.G.

"Are you not entertained?" Spatacu- I mean Kirby says to the Audience.

"That joke sucks worse than you!" The Internet types, eerily at the exact same time, into the comments section.

"Screw you, Internet! I don't need you!" Kirby said. The Author immediately feels the rage of 151 trolls.

Kirby touches Mario's Trophy Pedistal Thing which turns him back into a target for infinite offensive Italy jokes.

"Thank-a you!"

"You know how you could thank me?"

"How-a?"

"Stop being such a horrid stereotype. Seriously, they`re people in Mike Tyson`s Punch Out that are less offensive then you!"

"NEVER-A!"

Princess Zelda and Princess Peach then run onto The Arena, because they're there for some reason.

"Are you allowed to do that? Just, run onto The Arena?" Kirby asked Zelda.

"Of course we are! Nothing bad ever happens in these things-"

"Holy crap red clouds!" Peach screeched.

Red clouds of foreshadowing appear above The Arena.

"Don't worry, Peach!" Zelda said, "Their is no way something evil will come out from those clouds-"

A wild HALBERD appears!

"Uh oh Spaghettioes!" Mario geniuslee commented.

"Don't worry!" Kirby said to the other three smashers. "The Halberd is owned by Metaknight, who's a d-bag at worst-"

A bunch of evil crap falls from the Halberd.

"Oh noes! It's evil crap! Literally!" Peach squealed.

"Stop trying to be funny." Zelda told the fellow Princess. You go girl.

A Bunch of Evil Battery Looking Guys are formed from the Evil Diarrhea.

'Yes, I think Primids look like batteries," The Author said directly to the Author, "And so do my characters. LIVE WITH IT!"

"What-a are the odds of having evil things invade a place with the main characters?" Mario asked.

"Dammit. I really shouldn't of come. Putting you all in danger…" Kirby said, hoping someone agrees.

"I'm-a the main character y'know." Mario argued.

"No you aren't." Kirby countered.

MARIO used: Argue Some More!: "This-a is a Nintendo thing! And I'm Nintendo's Mascot!" It's not very effective...

KIRBY used: A Good Point!: "And I'm the mascot of the people who made this damn thing." It's Super effective!

"Crap." FOE MARIO was defeated! KIRBY got 200 POKE for winning!

"We should get to fighting these Triple A mooks." Zelda said, ruining the combo of crappy Pokemon jokes.

"Yeah!" Peach cheered.

Peach then gets out her Generic Frying Pan (Trademark)

"You just set female rights back 200 years. I have a sword." Zelda said to the 'Shroom Royalty

Zelda then looks in the pockets she doesn't have for her sword.

"Where in Hyrule is my freaking sword?" Zelda yelled.

"About that…" The Pink Puffball said to the the Hyrulian Princess nervously.

"You ate my sword?"

"Yes, that's what I'm implying."

"Well, it's better than it just being that Nintendo didn't want me to be powerful." Zelda said.

The Author then realizes he needs to get back to the plot.

Zelda then uses magic to totally own some Primids.

"Fun!" Zelda cheered.

Peach uses the Ass Smack of Love on a Primid.

"This is so hot!" The Primid yelled.

The Primid then explodes.

"Yeah! Exploding people with my ass!" Peach laughed.

"Does Nintendo hate women?" Zelda thought out loud to the other smashers.

"If they did, you wouldn't exist." Kirby replied.

"True."

"Can we get back to the action?" The Player yelled to the T.V. Screen. The Player is most likely insane.

"Fine." The Author replied to the whiner- I mean valued fan!

Kirby inhales a Primid.

"And you're the good guy?" The Primid asked nervously.

"Yes." Kirby replied.

"If you eat me, you will always have evil crap in your stomach! I'm like gum! I never leave!" The Primid yelled as a last ditch attempt at not being swallowed.

But he is.

Mario burns a Primid with his Great Ball's of Recycled Joke- I mean Fire!

"I'm-a still in this plot?"

All the Primids are now dead.

"I love mass murder." Kirby commented.

A loading time later, some robot carrying da bomb flies to the Main Cast.

"Who the Heck are you?" Zelda asked the robot.

"I'm totally not R.O.B.!" The obvious R.O.B. in disguise yelled back, "I'm the original character, Ancient Minister!"

"Oh yeah. Spoiler alert." The Author said.

"Wait. Ancient? You're a freaking robot! How ancient can you be?" Kirby yelled at "Ancient" Minister.

"… Shut up!" The Ancient Minister countered, obviously being a 12 year old on the Internet.

Ancient Minister drops da bomb.

Two R.O.B.'s clunkily roll over to da bomb hooking onto it and opening it up, revealing a 3:00 minute countdown.

"A boss fight is about to come, isn't it?" Kirby asked.

"What the hell's going on?" The Audience yelled, then realizing that a countdown on a bomb always ends in death for literal background characters.

Everyone stands there, until Petey the Diaper Wearing Piranha crashes onto The Arena.

"God! That fall sucked! I think I crapped my diaper…" Petey moaned.

"Ha-a Ha!" Mario laughed, suddenly becoming a stereotypically Italian Nelson Muntz.

"Screw you, Plumber!" Petey yelled back "I'm a firin' ma Bullet Bill!"

Petey shoots a Mario reference at the Plumber, shooting him into the next Level.

"Well, looks like it's just you us three against Petey, guys!" Kirby said, "It'll be difficult, but I`m sure we can do it-"

Zelda and Peach are put in cages by Petey.

"Sex joke." Petey commented.

"Hmm… Who should I save?" Kirby pondered, "Princess Zelda, the only person who I've met so far who I genuinely like, or Princess Peach, the slut. Peach, I choose youuuu!"

Kirby somehow kills Petey by punching Peach's cage repeatedly. Peach is freed

"I'm out of here, bitches!" Ancient Minister yelled, then flies away.

"Oh, screw you." The R.O.B.'s stuck to the bomb yell to Ancient Minister.

Wario then jumps into The Arena.

"Ha ha! Just when you thought this damn level is over, Wario! Wahahahaha!" Wario laughed. Laughing at the fact that the Author now has to write even MORE of this crappy level.

Wario takes out his bad ass gun

"I'm going to turn you into a trophy, if you couldn't tell! Wahahahahaha!"

Wario aims his gun at Princess Slu- I mean Peach.

"Just move slightly to the left, Peach! Wario's too fat to move!" Zelda yelled.

"Screw you!" Wario screamed at the Zelda.

Wario aims his gun at the caged Zelda.

"In hindsight I really should've aimed at the chick in the cage first!" Wario thought out loud.

"No shit Sherlock!" Zelda screeched.

Wario shoots a weird arrow thing from his gun at Zelda, turning her into a trophy.

"Wahahahaha!"

Wario takes the Zelda trophy and miraculously jumps out of the Arena.

The Warp Star appears by Kirby.

"Quick, Peach! Get on the star!" Kirby yelled at Princess Toadstool.

"…. Okay! Nothing bad could happen from that!" Peach squeals.

"I'm starting to see how it's so easy to kidnap you."

Kirby and Peach get on the Warp Star and flies away.


	2. Clouds Clouds EVERYWHERE!

Super Smash Bros. With Dialogue!

Pit the obscure Angel character is watching Kirby kick Mario's ass through a weird fountain thing.

"Yeah! Kick 'em, Kirby! HE'S THE ONE WHO DESERVES OBSCURITY!" Pit cheered.

Suddenly, the explosion in the Arena I forgot to tell you about last chapter happens.

"Wow. What happened to the Primid fighting? What happened to Petey? What about Wario? Those seem to be important scenes to show-" Pit commented.

Some godess that most characters won't recognize named Pauletena.

"Pit. Stop pointing out the freaking plot holes," Pauletena said to the angel, "I need you to save THE UNIVERSE! Here is a magic bow. Get the Hell out."

"What's in it for me?" Pit asked.

"You'll get a new installment of your series in about four years. And you get to keep your kickass new look."

"…. Deal."

Pit steals the Magic Bow and jumps out of the Sky Temple, which I forgot to elaborate on. He flies off, because HAL forgot to take note he couldn't fly in his games

"I believe I can flyyyyy! I believe I can touch the sky!" Pit sang, quite badly, I might add.

Pit has now left the building.

"Well, what other obscure Nintendo character should I hang out with…" Pauletena said to herself.

The Mole from Mole Mania pops out from the concrete somehow.

"You forgot to save! That makes me angry for some reason!" the Mole raged.

"Great," Pauletena sighed, "I'm hanging out with a character the Author couldn't even bother to Google for a name that's pretending to be Mr. Resetti…"

Now, back to Pit, with his slightly interesting plotline!

"Time to go on a long, dangerous search for the evil beings I must fight…"

The Halberd shows up and drops evil diarrhea all over the somehow solid clouds.

"Or maybe it will show up directly in front of me." Pit said, flatly.

The level begins.

Pit is running through the clouds and the random stone walks trying to kill all the Primids.

"Wow. This game is so easy, the target audience wouldn't complain about it being difficult!" Pit cheered.

"That wasn't funny." Primid told Pit.

"Screw youuuuuu!" Pit replied.

Pit shoots the Primid with a Magical Arrow of blue, which makes Primid explode.

"How wasn't that overkill?" The Primid yelled, then he EXPLODES!

"Yeah, People exploding, Great PG material right there." Pit sighed.

Pit mass murders Primid's until he comes to a giant Grim Reaper bomb looking thing

"Yes, I think it looks like a bomb. Shut up." The Author said, voicing his opinions about stuff nobody gives a crap about.

"Ha! I know one of your weaknesses!" Pit taunted at his new foe.

"What?" The bomb reaper replied.

"My cheapness!" Pit yelled back.

Pit goes in a pattern of shooting Bomb Reaper then running up and slicing him.

"My only regret is being an original enemyyyyy!" The Bomb Reaper screamed.

The Bomb Reaper then dies.

"Remember kids, Pit sez if something is a dark color, brutally murder it! It's an enemy!" Pit cheered.

"Hey! Shouldn't I be the one making jokes about Sonic Sez?" Sonic interrupted.

"No! Go back to the final level and wait until you can make a badass entrance!" Pit yelled at the blue speedster.

"Fine." Sonic replies.

Sonic runs away, so fast that I can't write about it. Not just because I'm bad at writing.

Pit then starts running to the out of place Red Door.

It goes into a cut scene and Pit sees Mario.

"Crap. If I don't save Mario, he won't take the credit in saving the world. If I do, I could make offensive Italian jokes. Hmm…" Pit pondered.

Pit saves Mario.

"What-a the Hell happened?" Mario asked Pit.

"You overdosed on Wine and Garlic Bread." Pit lied to Mario.

"Your-a mistaken! Wario isn't anywhere near here!" Mario told Pit.

"Ha." Pit laughed.

The Player gets the option to play as Pit or Mario. Ninety percent of Players choose Pit, seeing as he can fly, shoot Arrows of Blue Magic, and doesn't suck.

"If you can't tell, I hate Mario." The Author said to the Player, stating the obvious yet again.

Pit and Mario beat up Primids. But mostly Pit.

"Hey-a look!" Mario geniusly states, pointing in front of him.

The non-balances duo see a Golden Door.

"What does it mean?" Pit asked his italian acquaintance.

"Are-a you high?"

"… Yes."

Pit and Mario go through the Golden Door, into A Mcdonalds.

"Mmm!" Pit said, directly to the Player, "Product placement good!"

Now we see Kirby and Peach riding on the Warp Star.

"We're chasing the Halberd!" Peach cheered.

"Why did you just say that?" Kirby asked Peach.

"It probably isn't very obvious to the Viewer what we're doing." Peach replied.

"Holy Crystal Shards! That was actually right! This plot is so convoluted, it's giving you logic!" Kirby gasped.

"I'm as alarmed as you." Peach replied.

"Hey, Peach! We're at the Halber-!"

The Warp Star crashes on the Halberd.

"Ow! My head- I mean my face!" Kirby sighed.

The bad ass spaceship from Star Fox, the Arwing is heading for the Halberd, but is shot down.

The Arwing then narrowly misses the bottomless nom pit (Kirby) and Princess Kidnapped (Peach).

"That was close!" Kirby sighed, "I sure hope they're no gusts of wind to knock us off the Halber-"

There is a gust of wind which knocks Kirby and Peach off the Halberd.

"IRONYYYYYY!" Kirby yelled.

Kirby and Peach land in a place that looks a lot like the last level, only slightly harder.

"What are we going to do now?" Peach asked the pink puffball.

"Go on a long, arduous journey to the ground." Kirby replied.

Two minutes of heading down later...

"O.K. now we're done."

Kirby and Peach start running through a Field, praying the Plot will make the Bad Guys come to them.

"What the message in between the asterisk said." Kirby said to the viewers.


	3. Crappy Tutorial Level Commentary!

Super Smash Bros. But With Dialogue Chapter 1… WITH COMMENTARY!

**(Author's notes are in bold)**

**Hey Fan Fiction peoples! To settle for the wait for chapter three (Which is still in development) I'm writing a commentary for my most popular fan fiction, Super Smash Bros. But With Dialogue: The Crappy Intro! So, yeah. That.**

Kirby and Mario are in the Arena for literally no reason!

**Seriously, why? WHY NINTENDO, WHY? I believe they're fighting over who gets less lines.**

"Hello-a Kirby!" Mario said to his puffball acquaintance.

"Puyo!" Kirby replied.

**Noklevername sez: I used to believe that puyo was Japanese for melon! I don't remember why exactly…**

"What the hell are you saying?" Some jerk in the audience yelled.

**The jerk in the audience? Waluigi. Because why not.**

Kirby then coughs, quite loudly.

**Apparently, I also cough very loudly. My dad used to call me 'Seal Boy'. I totally wasn't offended at all!**

"Sorry, what did you say?" Kirby said to Mario, "My throat was all stuffy."

**Yes, I know that Kirby doesn't talk. There was that one game where he did… And I should stop bringing this up. I'M ALSO GOING TO MAKE POKEMON TRAINER TALK! Mwahahaha!**

"What-a throat?" Mario taunted.

"Oh snap!" The same jerk from the audience yelled.

"**I can't believe I didn't think of it first! Wahahahahaha!"**

"Oh, it is ON!" Kirby bellowed at Mario in reply to his, extremely crappy, insult.

**I thought I wrote a good insult…**

The Player then picks between playing as Mario or Kirby for the fight. Seeing as Mario's Great Balls of Fire royally suck, and Kirby is a freaking Vacuum alien, you get to pick from two separate types of suck. I pick Kirby.

**Get it? Royally! Because Mario saves Princess Peach!**

… **Oh, screw you. Oh, and I usually don't pick Kirby while doing this, personally, I dislike his move set. Wow. I thought I'd be funnier…**

Kirby punches Mario repeatedly without much difficulty, due to the fact that it's the beginning of the Game, and so every single thing sucks but the player. So, the opposite of real life.

**Take that. ONE POINT FOR NOKLEVERNAME!**

"Yay illegal Alien!" The Audience cries.

"**He's almost as amazing as Superman! The man who represents America's greatness, while not being American! Wooh!"**

"Boo!" Dick Cheney screams. Dick hates illegal aliens, right? I don't know politics.

**Do I seem like someone who listens to politics mumbo jumbo? Something, something, that politician who was afraid of a black guy, something, something, Obama care?**

"You-a suuuuck!" Mario yells at Kirby.

**Yes, I'm going to make jokes more about him being Italian. I'm also going to make jokes about me making jokes about him being Italian. JOKECEPTION!**

"Yes I do."

Kirby then puts on some wicked shades.

"Yeaaaaaaaah!"

**That's what happens on C.S.I. Whateverthehell right? I only know it from that meme. You know the one.**

Kirby is officialy bad ass. Yes, I just made a C.S.I. reference. Deal with it!

Mario turns into a Trophy, because this game is P.G.

**Have you noticed the trophies are darker in Subspace Emissary? Well, now you know. And knowing does twice the damage!**

"Are you not entertained?" Spatacu- I mean Kirby says to the Audience.

**Also never watched or read **_**300**_**. And yes, it is based off a comic book. And now you know. And knowing is overusing a joke!**

"That joke sucks worse than you!" The Internet types, eerily at the exact same time, into the comments section.

**The internet is like a hive mind. And I'm part of it.**

"Screw you, Internet! I don't need you!" Kirby said. The Author immediately feels the rage of 151 trolls.

**I apologize to anyone who wants to troll me for writing this. Also, 151, get it? Because 151 pokemon in Red and Blue. Yeah, I can be clever!**

Kirby touches Mario's Trophy Pedestal Thing which turns him back into a target for infinite offensive Italy jokes.

**I never understood that 'touch the pedestal to free them!' Thing. I mean, if you trophified a world threatening villain, and you accidently touched the pedestal, you'd free him! Wouldn't that just suck?**

"Thank-a you!"

"**For-a the spaghetti!" Anyone remember that spaghetti thing? Well, Youtube poop does. And know you do. DIDN'T I JUST BLOW YOUR MIND?**

"You know how you could thank me?"

"**Make a penguin suit out of that stupid king."**

"How-a?"

"**How about some spaghetti!" Sorry, I just couldn't resist.**

"Stop being such a horrid stereotype. Seriously, there people in Mike Tyson`s Punch Out that are less offensive then you!"

**Lets see the stereotypes in Mike Tyson's Punch Out. The weak Frenchman, drunk Russian, fat islander, Japanese martial artist, the American character named after the Big Mac, Flamango dancing Spanish person, Disco black guy, cheating Irishman, fat black guy, and those are all I can think of today. Join the Noklevername fun club today!**

"NEVER-A!"

**Little known Mario fact: He hangs onto the Italian jokes because those are literally his only joke.**

Princess Zelda and Princess Peach then run onto The Arena, because they're there for some reason.

"**Yeah," Zelda said, "I'm just watching this wrestling fight because I'm royalty totally not because I bet a million rupees on Mario losing. It's totally not that."**

"Are you allowed to do that? Just, run onto The Arena?" Kirby asked Zelda.

"**Not usually, but can this plot get anymore stupid?"**

"Of course we are! Nothing bad ever happens in these things-"

**Knock on Whispy Woods.**

"Holy crap red clouds!" Peach screeched.

**I'm honestly sorry that I use these blonde jokes. I'm well aware that they are rude, and I am also (Kind of) blonde. Sorry if I offended anyone with my portrayal of Peach.**

Red clouds of foreshadowing appear above The Arena.

**Foreshadowing: Hinting at something that will happen later in the story. This is usually done subtly, but screw subtly, I'M TOO AMAZING!**

"Don't worry, Peach!" Zelda said, "There is no way something evil will come out from those clouds-"

"**There is no way bad guys could've possibly taken over the Halberd!"**

"**And there is no way that Mr. Game&Watch's make Primids!"**

"**And there is no way Snake could've been hiding in the cargo hold, waiting to make a badass entrance!"**

"**Yeah, those things would be bad story telling."**

A wild HALBERD appears!

"Uh oh Spaghettioes!" Mario geniuslee commented.

**MARIO used CRAPPY JOKE.**

"Don't worry!" Kirby said to the other three smashers. "The Halberd is owned by Metaknight, who's a d-bag at worst-"

**KIRBY used REASON. It's not very effective…**

A bunch of evil crap falls from the Halberd.

**Apparently they're actually called 'Subspace Bugs' or some crap. And now you know! And knowing is- Ah screw it.**

"Oh noes! It's evil crap! Literally!" Peach squealed.

**And then I refer to it as that forever. Is it sad that I made the idiot voice my opinion?**

"Stop trying to be funny." Zelda told the fellow Princess. You go girl.

**Zelda is probably my favorite character to write for so far in the series.**

A Bunch of Evil Battery Looking Guys are formed from the Evil Diarrhea.

**Duracell are biatches. The Energizer Bunny? He hit me in the head repeatedly.**

'Yes, I think Primids look like batteries," The Author said directly to the Author, "And so do my characters. LIVE WITH IT!"

**What I just said up there.**

"What-a are the odds of having evil things invade a place with the main characters?" Mario asked.

**I didn't write him being sarcastic in this scene. Mario and Peach are truly perfect for each other.**

"Dammit. I really shouldn't of come. Putting you all in danger…" Kirby said, hoping someone agrees.

**I'm pretty sure Kirby is in more scenes than Mario. Am I the only one who thinks that? Hopefully not.**

"I'm-a the main character y'know." Mario argued.

**No, you aren't.**

"No you aren't." Kirby countered.

**Thanks for agreeing, character I wrote.**

MARIO used: Argue Some More!: "This-a is a Nintendo thing! And I'm Nintendo's Mascot!" It's not very effective...

**Pokemon reference, YEAH!**

KIRBY used: A Good Point!: "And I'm the mascot of the people who made this damn thing." It's Super effective!

"Crap." FOE MARIO was defeated! KIRBY got 200 POKE for winning!

**KIRBY sent some to his MOM… Who's on a separate PLANET!**

"We should get to fighting these Triple A mooks." Zelda said, ruining the combo of crappy Pokemon jokes.

**READY? FIGHT!**

"Yeah!" Peach cheered.

… **UM, YOU CAN FIGHT NOW.**

Peach then gets out her Generic Frying Pan (Trademark)

**HA, BUT SERIOUSLY, LET'S GET TO FIGHTING!**

"You just set female rights back 200 years. I have a sword." Zelda said to the 'Shroom Royalty.

**NOPE, JUST MORE DIALOGUE?**

Zelda then looks in the pockets she doesn't have for her sword.

**WOOH! A SWORD! ACTIONS GONNA BE COMING!**

"Where in Hyrule is my freaking sword?" Zelda yelled.

… **WHAT?**

"About that…" The Pink Puffball said to the the Hyrulian Princess nervously.

**OH MY GOD MORE DIALOGUE!**

"You ate my sword?"

**UGH.**

"Yes, that's what I'm implying."

**SIGH.**

"Well, it's better than it just being that Nintendo didn't want me to be powerful." Zelda said.

**SHUT. UP!**

The Author then realizes he needs to get back to the plot.

**YEP!**

Zelda then uses magic to totally own some Primids.

**FINALLY!**

"Fun!" Zelda cheered.

… **Aren't there people who have fetishes like this?**

Peach uses the Ass Smack of Love on a Primid.

**So, quick thing on 'Ass Smack of Love'. You know that side A move? Where she hits the enemy with her ass? Well, a acquaintance of mine who I was playing Brawl with named it. So, yeah. That.**

"This is so hot!" The Primid yelled.

**Snake would agree. Though Peach doesn't do it on him to hurt him. SEXUAL INNUENDO, YAY!**

The Primid then explodes.

**Isn't exploding people a little… Weird? How do you explode someone with your ass?**

"Yeah! Exploding people with my ass!" Peach laughed.

**Well, I don't know how it happens, but apparently it's fun.**

"Does Nintendo hate women?" Zelda thought out loud to the other smashers.

"**I'm not really talking to all of the smashers, Sir Noklevername. I'm talking to the only character who isn't dumber than an Octorok."**

"If they did, you wouldn't exist." Kirby replied.

**Also Samus, if you forget the zero suit. And other M.**

"True."

"Can we get back to the action?" The Player yelled to the T.V. Screen. The Player is most likely insane.

**Shut up. I MEAN I APPRECIATE YOUR HELPFUL COMMENT!**

"Fine." The Author replied to the whiner- I mean valued fan!

**What I just said.**

Kirby inhales a Primid.

**Delicious Game&Watch!**

"And you're the good guy?" The Primid asked nervously.

"Yes." Kirby replied.

"If you eat me, you will always have evil crap in your stomach! I'm like gum! I never leave!" The Primid yelled as a last ditch attempt at not being swallowed.

**Ha! Trying to reason with an immigrant! That's preposterous! Dick Cheney totally isn't holding a Star Rod to my head and making me say this!**

But he is.

Mario burns a Primid with his Great Ball's of Recycled Joke- I mean Fire!

"I'm-a still in this plot?"

**Don't worry, you won't be here long.**

All the Primids are now dead.

"I love mass murder." Kirby commented.

**You could say this is a reference to that one series that portrayed Kirby as a cannibal (Which name has escaped me).**

A loading time later, some robot carrying da bomb flies to the Main Cast.

**Yes, I'm referring to it as da bomb. DEAL WITH IT!**

"Who the Heck are you?" Zelda asked the robot.

"I'm totally not R.O.B.!" The obvious R.O.B. in disguise yelled back, "I'm the original character, Ancient Minister!"

**In hindsight, this was really obvious.**

"Oh yeah. Spoiler alert." The Author said.

**Sorry if you didn't want to know that crappy twist.**

"Wait. Ancient? You're a freaking robot! How ancient can you be?" Kirby yelled at "Ancient" Minister.

**Apparently, the R.O.B.'s also have their own island. Am I the only one who finds this ridiculous?**

"… Shut up!" The Ancient Minister countered, obviously being a 12 year old on the Internet.

**Ha. You thought I wasn't going to make Ancient Minister a jerk.**

Ancient Minister drops da bomb.

Two R.O.B.'s clunkily roll over to da bomb hooking onto it and opening it up, revealing a 3:00 minute countdown.

"A boss fight is about to come, isn't it?" Kirby asked.

**No, Kirby. You're going to have to fight another Primid.**

"What the hell's going on?" The Audience yelled, then realizing that a countdown on a bomb always ends in death for literal background characters.

**I say Tom Nook said that. I SAID IT SO NOW IT IS CANON!**

Everyone stands there, until Petey the Diaper Wearing Piranha crashes onto The Arena.

"God! That fall sucked! I think I crapped my diaper…" Petey moaned.

**Why does a Pirahna Plant need a diaper? I mean, do plants poop? I got a 64% in science last term, so I don't know.**

"Ha-a Ha!" Mario laughed, suddenly becoming a stereotypically Italian Nelson Muntz.

**Everyone knows Nelson Muntz, right? That bully from the Simpsons, he is.**

"Screw you, Plumber!" Petey yelled back "I'm a firin' ma Bullet Bill!"

**That's a reference to the Lazer Collection, a great series on Youtube.**

Petey shoots a Mario reference at the Plumber, shooting him into the next Level.

**I'm glad they included Bullet Bill's in this scene.**

"**I'm-a blasting off agaaaaaain!" Mario yelled.**

"Well, looks like it's just you us three against Petey, guys!" Kirby said, "It'll be difficult, but I`m sure we can do it-"

Zelda and Peach are put in cages by Petey.

**Kirby should really stop trying to cheer everyone up.**

"Sex joke." Petey commented.

**HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!**

"Hmm… Who should I save?" Kirby pondered, "Princess Zelda, the only person who I've met so far who I genuinely like, or Princess Peach, the slut. Peach, I choose youuuu!"

**A commenter (Writes4u) Commented a while after I posted chapter 1 that I should've saved Zelda so I could make more Peach Bowser jokes. Thanks, writes4u!**

Kirby somehow kills Petey by punching Peach's cage repeatedly. Peach is freed

"**Oh noes! Being harmed indirectly! MY ONE TRUE WEAKNESS!"**

***Dies***

"I'm out of here, bitches!" Ancient Minister yelled, then flies away.

**Yes, I'm going to keep making Ancient Minister annoying. DEAL WITH IT!**

"Oh, screw you." The R.O.B.'s stuck to the bomb yell to Ancient Minister.

Wario then jumps into The Arena.

"Ha ha! Just when you thought this damn level is over, Wario! Wahahahaha!" Wario laughed. Laughing at the fact that the Author now has to write even MORE of this crappy level.

**If you couldn't tell, at this point, I was really tired of the first chapter. And you're probably tired of reading it.**

Wario takes out his bad ass gun

**I'm pretty sure it's called the Subspace Gun. CREATIVITEY!**

"I'm going to turn you into a trophy, if you couldn't tell! Wahahahahaha!"

**Actually, on the first play through, this isn't obvious until the end of this scene. Also, I'm pretty sure at least one of you reading this hasn't played Brawl. So, thanks Wario!**

Wario aims his gun at Princess Slu- I mean Peach.

**I have no clue why I hate Peach so much…**

"Just move slightly to the left, Peach! Wario's too fat to move!" Zelda yelled.

**I was thinking about that Lucas scene in **_**Brawl Taunts**_** when I wrote that line.**

"Screw you!" Wario screamed at the Zelda.

Wario aims his gun at the caged Zelda.

"In hindsight I really should've aimed at the chick in the cage first!" Wario thought out loud.

"**I agree!"**

**-Captain Hindsight**

"No shit Sherlock!" Zelda screeched.

**SWEARING? :O**

Wario shoots a weird arrow thing from his gun at Zelda, turning her into a trophy.

**Y'know, no matter how much I criticize, I honestly liked playing through Supspace Emissary. I loved the trophy concept.**

"Wahahahaha!"

Wario takes the Zelda trophy and miraculously jumps out of the Arena.

"**My fat makes me jump higher! Super Man is all like, 'how does he jump so high?' Wahahahahahaha!"**

The Warp Star appears by Kirby.

**I also love how they used the Warp Star. Hm… I thought I'd be funnier with this commentary.**

"Quick, Peach! Get on the star!" Kirby yelled at Princess Toadstool.

"…. Okay! Nothing bad could happen from that!" Peach squeals.

**GENIUS!**

"I'm starting to see how it's so easy to kidnap you."

Kirby and Peach get on the Warp Star and flies away.

**Well, that was the end of the commentary! Thanks for reading, and I'm really sorry about the wait for chapter 3. I've been really busy with other series, some contest stuff, and I'm going on vacation soon. Chapter 3 should be up by the eighth. Thanks for reading!**

**-Mr. Noklevername**


	4. I Actually Finished Chapter 3!

Super Smash Bros. But With Dialogue Chapter 3!

**(Author's notes are in bold text.)**

**Feel free to skip all my notes, but I have a (Overly long) message!**

**Sorry for the wait guys! A lot of crap happened between chapter two and now. First was, as some of you are aware, that at first my series broke a (ridiculous) rule. So, I had to re-format it. And that really sucked. It took literally two hours on each, and I have an extremely low attention spa- Ah, screw it, I'm just going to write chapter three.**

Donkey Kong and Diddy are standing on a grassy cliff, because that's apparently that's what they do all day. Hey, ape's need hobbies too.

**Note: All languages have been translated into English. No unintelligible grunts! I'm not writing for Disney channel here, people.**

"Hey, Donkey Kong!" Diddy said to the giant ape, "There is a recycled plot!"

Donkey and Diddy see a Koopa in what vaguely resembles a hover car. BUT HE'S STEALING THEIR BANANAS WHAAAAT!?

"Stop them, we must do!" Yoda- I mean Donkey Kong said to his cousin.

They jump off their cliff, and decide to chase the Koopa by foot.

"Why don't we just get Funky Kong to make us something to catch the bananas?" Diddy suggested.

Donkey Kong then slaps Diddy, and the level starts.

**Oh, yeah, my message. So, I went camping a couple of weeks ago, and I stayed for longer than I thought. (It was that day with the huge meteor shower, which, sadly, we didn't see.) Plus, I had to enter for several contests. (Cross your fingers that I win one!) Yes, those are my excuses. DEAL WITH IT!**

… **Wait, I'm actually writing chapter 3? That's actually getting written?! Wow. I guess I should get back to the story.**

You get the choice to play as Donkey or Diddy. Hm… Do you choose the weak monkey or the towering ape? This is the most difficult choice ever. After a week long identity crisis, I chose the obvious choice, Donkey Kong.

Donkey Kong comes up to a Goomba. He chooses the peaceful solution.

"DONKEY KONG SMASH!" D.K. yelled. Yes, that's his idea of peaceful solution. D.K. Kombat is his idea of a playful rustle.

"Why don't we just jump on the Goombas?" Diddy asked the ape.

"Because I chugged 30 litres of Power Thirst, and I feel like punching things. When the player is playing as you, you can jump on every freaking Goomba."

"But, nobody ever plays as me!" Diddy moaned.

"I know."

Donkey Kong smashes to his heart's content, while Diddy finishes drinking his eight beer. They finally reach the Koopa with the bananas, and promptly punch him in the Koopa face. They start celebrating.

But then, a wild BOWSER appears!

Diddy then walks over to Bowser, attempting to look… Not wimpy.

"You think you can beat the D.K. Crew?!"

"Yes." Bowser replied, and took his awesome Trophy Gun thing, aiming at the inebriated monkey's face.

Diddy and Donkey backed away.

"Now, I will turn one of you into a trophy… How about Diddy! People love Diddy, right?" He aimed his Trophy Gun at Diddy a second time, "Now just sit here until my gun is charged," Bowser told the Kongs.

"How long will that take?" Donkey Kong asked Bowser, worriedly.

"Just until you make a heroic sacrifice to save Diddy for some reason," Bowser replied.

"So, it's going to charge forever?" Donkey asked.

"C'mon, we need to move this plot along," Bowser told the giant ape.

"Fine…" Donkey Kong then Donkey Punch's Diddy into a boss fight.

"COULDN'T YOU HAVE JUST PUSHED ME AWAY?!" Diddy yelled as he blasted off again.

Meanwhile, Donkey Kong is turned into a trophy offscreen. Sadly, the one scene everyone wanted to see, happened offscreen.

**Now, the next part was supposed to be it's own chapter, but due to the shortness of this one, you get both.**

Super Smash Bros. But With Dialogue Chapter 4!

The Narrator from Super Friends for some reason decides to tell you what happened in that chapter that doesn't exist. "Last time on: Super Smash Bros. But With Dialogue, our heroes, Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong were having wacky hijinks! But not the sexual kind, shippers! They chased a Koopa who stole the bananas, and caught him. But wait! Bowser came down and used his badass gun to turn Donkey Kong into a trophy! Now, let us see what Diddy is doing! Okay, now give me my money!"

The Author gives him his money, and the Narrator leaves. Author starts sobbing, so we go to what Diddy Kong is doing.

We see Diddy swinging around on vines. He is most likely drunk. By the way, don't drink and swing. A whole 100% of deaths come from this. Anyway, he stops at a shore, where he sees a shot down Arwing. It was either the one Fox crashed in chapter 2, or someone saw Slippy and took appropriate actions.

Anyway, Diddy walked over to the Arwing, but then…

A WILD RAYQUAZA appeared!

"Im-a firin' ma lazar! BLARGH!" Rayquaza then fires his hyper beam at the wrecked Arwing. It's SUPER EFFECTIVE!

"I'm gonna kill you!" Rayquaza yelled at Diddy, then picked him up.

"That's crappy dialoguuuuuue!" Diddy yelled as he's grabbed by Rayquaza.

"Mwahahaha! Nobody can stop me now!"

Fox pops out from the Arwing wreckage to stop him now, "Guess you didn't account for me surviving the laser! Little did you know, PLAYER Types are immune to CUTSCENE attacks!" He then shoots Rayquaza's arms, and he let's go of Diddy. Somehow, Diddy doesn't fall and drown in the lake, but falls directly in front of Fox.

"What the Hell is going on?" Fox yelled at Diddy.

"Nintendo logic." Diddy answered.

"Good enough answer for me!" Fox says to the monkey, "Time for a horribly unbalanced boss fight!"

The player has the option to choose as Fox or Diddy. I play a modified version of Russian Roulette to determine who I play as. If I don't blow my brains out, I play as Fox. If I do, my ghost will be sent to hell, and forced to play as Diddy by Mephisto himself. I live and choose Fox.

"Winning!" Fox cheers as he shoots Rayquaza's face, and avoids his Hyper Beam, "Wow, this is pretty easy! Now, if only my laser actually did any damage…"

Rayquaza then dives head first into the ground, "Awesome! I beat a legendary! Surely he ran away! I guarantee he's not about to burst from the ground! That move is cliché…" Rayquaza then bursts from the ground, and defeats Fox.

RAYQUAZA used TAUNT, "Haha! I learned that from every videogame ever!" It's super effective!

Diddy then appears, "Oh my Pauletena! I'm actually being played as!" Rayquaza promptly hyper beams Diddy, "I'M BLASTING OFF AGAIN, AGAIN! THIS IS HORRIBLEY REPETITIVE!"

Meanwhile, at the Team Rocket headquarters…

"Hey, Jesse," James said to not his girlfriend, Jesse.

"What is it, idiot?" Jesse asked the Team Rocket fellow.

"I feel like some ape is using our bit." James confessed.

"That's ridiculous!" Jesse replied.

"Meowth, that's right!"

Back to the fight…

Fox reappears infront of Rayquaza.

"I'm back!" Fox taunted, then paused, "For literally no reason!"

"You might be," Rayquaza replied, "But you still cannot defeat me!"

"Yes I can!" Fox told the legendary, "I know all your moves!"

"What?! How?!" Rayquaza asked in shock.

"You're horribly repetitive!" Fox answered.

Fox promptly performs a legendary asskicking, defeating Rayquaza. Fox captures him in a Poke Ball.

"Why did you catch him?" Diddy asked the pilot.

"I can get a level 2 Bidoof for him on the Grand Exchange! It would be stupid for me NOT to catch him!"

The boss fight is over, and now Diddy is ditched on someone else.

"YEAH!" Donkey cheered.

"Aren't you a trophy?" I ask the ape.

"… Yes." Donkey replied.

"NO! No plot holes!"


	5. Lucas: Not Actually a Wuss

Super Smash Bros. But With Dialogue

* * *

**Hey, everybody! Sorry for the delay! I just got a new computer, and I made this in half an hour while my internet was down, so it may not be up to the... Quality you expect from this series!**

* * *

Lucas is walking through an abandoned, dirty zoo. He is automatically seen as a whiny emo kid by North American and European players, and Japanese players burst into tears from depressing flash backs. Nobody wins. Except Charlie Sheen, but nevermind his amazingness for now, and let's get on with the story.

"Wow, I spent ten minutes without anything unfortunate happening to me- OH MY GOD IS THAT A GIANT PORKY?!" Lucas yelled, as he saw what Americans see German chidren as.

He started running, and the player starts a new level. You don't have to choose a character to play as, so I don't have to write a ridiculous situation that I use to pick characters. Eventually, Lucas comes to a Primid, "Can you move?!" Lucas yelled at the enemy, "A fat kid's statue is trying to kill me!"

"Nah, I'm just gonna stay here. He's on my side, his attacks don't affect me-" The Primid answered. He then got ran over by the Porky Statue, "FRIENDLY FIRE SUCKKKKKS!"

After the sudden spike in difficulty of that level, Lucas tripped, "WHY?! WHY DID THEY DELAY THIS GAME FOR A TRIPPING MECHANIC?! WHHHHYYYYYYYY!" He yelled to Pauletena. Yes, I am still bitter about the delay, four years later. Now quick, let's move on before I start ranting about it.

"P.K. FREEZE!" The only other P.S.I. using ten year old yelled, somehow striking Porky Statue with ice, "Hey, Lucas."

"... Hey."

"I'm back. Nintendo tried to replace me with some other P.S.I. using kid, but I'm still here!" Ness gloated, "Now, have you seen my replacement? I'm gonna kick his chibi ass."

Suddenly, Porky Minch in a spider robot appeared, confusing both non-Japanese players and Lucas. "Um... Porky is your replacement!" Lucas lied.

Ness' eyes filled with anger, "Dammit, Porky!" He yelled, "Wait... How does he use P.S.I. from inside a kickass spider robot?"

Lucas thought for a moment, "Um... Nintendo logic?"

Ness shrugged, "Meh. Good enough for me. I need the exp. from this boss fight, anyway. Beating up hippies with a baseball bat doesn't do much. It's only fun the first several hundred times."

"Wait, what?"

"Nothing." Now, you choose between Ness and Lucas for the boss fight against Porky the dick. I realize that usually, one of the choices are obvious. Not now. Despite my awesome writing, I cannot make a witty remark about choosing who I play as. I am sorry.

Anyway, I pick Ness, choosing between Nostalgia of a game I never actually played, and something that made me cry. Cry manly, kickass author tears.

Ness proceeds to kick the ass of a fat kid with little to no provocation. Yeah, I'm going there, America. Canada FTW. Anyway, after the ass kicking, Porky, in the containment pod I forgot to tell you about because I kind of suck at writing, falls out of the kickass spider robot, breaking the pod.

"What did you do, Ness?!" Lucas cried, "You just freed Porky Minch! Hundreds of years into the future from your world of weird 50's parody crap, Porky almost kills the world! You just freed an immortal, time travelling abomination of pure evil! How are we going to stop him now?!"

Ness shrugged, "I know, but, I got SO much exp.!"

Lucas sighed, "How much?"

"9001." Ness answered.

"... Worth it."

The two then start walking off, "So, where are we going?" Ness asked his Japanese exclusive friend.

"I have no idea. I'm just hoping that some random crap doesn't come and rustle my jimmies."

Suddenly, a wild FAT GUY appeared!

"Aaaaand there goes the jimmies."

Wario shoots at Ness with his Trophy Gun, though Ness avoided the attack!

"Don't worry!" Assured Ness, "Wario is American! He has no clue who the Underworld you are! He won't come after you! He'll just go spam racist remarks on forums!"

"Wahahahahaha!" Wario chuckled, "I read about Mother 3 on TV Tropes!" Wario, who apparently has some sort of internet acess, aims his Trophy Gun at Lucas, "Plus, I'm not racist! Have you SEEN Punch Out? Now that's racist!"

Wario starts charging up his Trophy Gun, "Dammit! The charging is so long, something dramatics going to happen!"

Hearing Wario's genre saavy remark, Ness realizes he has time to do something awesome, and pushes Lucas out of the way of Wario's Trophy Gun, "WHY THE HELL DIDN'T YOU MOVVVVVVVE?!"

Wario's Trophy Gun convienently shoots at that exact moment, turning Ness into a Trophy. Lucas sensibly starts sprinting away, though this cements his status as a wuss to the American players.

Eventually, Lucas finds Red, the Pokemon Trainer, "Hey, can you help me?" Lucas asked him, "Oh yeah, you're a mute..." Lucas sighed, after not being replied for several seconds.

"Wait, what? Sorry, I was in the middle of a Pokemon Battle. Trying to train my Squirtle."

"Why?" Lucas asked.

"So I can have a Blastoise with me when I go on an adventure to find out where the hell Professor Oak gets starters."

"Ah. So, can you help me?"

"Ha. I'll help you when diarrhea turns evil." Suddenly, wild PRIMIDS appear, "Well... Let's beat these damn things up. I'll help you."

And with that heart warming but very boring dialogue, they proceed to beat the crap out of... Crap.


	6. Holy Crap An Update

**Author's Note: Yeah, sorry about that whole, 'over three months without a real update' thing. I've been real busy with other stuff, of which suck. Like this chapter!**

Two R.O.B.s, the crappy toy that Nintendo seems hell bent on making relevant again, are standing below Totally-Not-a-R.O.B.- I mean, Ancient Minister.

"So, boss!" Rob the R.O.B. said, "What the hell are we doing?"

"Oh, nothing much…" Ancient Minister commented, "EXCEPT A SUICIDE BOMBING!"

"… What?" Bob the R.O.B. asked. Before you say it, I know. My names are amazing.

"Nothing!" Ancient Minister replied quickly.

"If you didn't want us to know, why did you even say it?" Rob the R.O.B. asked angrily. Haha, you thought this chapter was gonna be FUNNY!

"… Shut up!" Ancient Minister cleverly retorted, "Now, I'm gonna drop. Da. Bomb."

"That jokes never gonna get old…" Bob the R.O.B. muttered, as Ancient Minister, guess what, dropped. Da. Bomb.

Both Rob the R.O.B. and Bob the R.O.B. connected to da previously dropped bomb.

"You know, maybe we should get some lunch after this suicide bombing!" Rob the R.O.B. suggested.

"… You don't know what 'suicide' means, do you?" Bob the R.O.B. asked, as Ancient Minister flew off.

"No, what does it mea-"

You can insert some explosion sound here.

Meanwhile, the Prince… Princess? I don't know. Anyway, the… Royal person of… Don't ask me, I'm Canadian! Anyway, he/she-

"I'm a boy," Marth said, to YOU! (See, I'm interactive), "And before you ask, I'm not gay."

After Marth's message, of which I'm totally going to ignore for the sake of people-thinking-he's-gay jokes that have never been used before, you see he's standing on top of his fortress. He sees the explosion of evil diarrhea caused by the R.O.B.s in gulf the Battlefield.

Despite this being an understandable time to hide and strategize, Marth is standing up on the top of his fortress, being, if the fandom is correct, angsty.

But suddenly, for some reason, he decides to fight the monsters invading his kingdom, such as the horrible weird puppet things and the over-powered motorcycles.

You start the level, and, luckily for me, you can only play as Marth. This is a win win for both of us. I don't have to write a long-winded explanation of choosing a specific character, and you get to play as one of the most cheap-ass characters in this game!

For some reason, Marth has to find some keys to get out of the castle, because Nintendo logic!

"Well, at least I'm finally safe. There is no way something will attack me before I finish this sente-"

"META KNIGHT SURPRISE ATTACK BITCH!"

Meta Knight attacked Marth with his sword, Galaxia, as Marth avoided and reflected the attack.

"Ah, we meet again!" Marth called out as he swung at the minority of the _Kirby_ universe.

"… Meet again? We've never even met before!" Meta Knight objected as I, the narrator, attempts to think of a witty remark to make this story worth reading.

"I don't know, I thought our meeting was a country exclusive game. Why the hell are we fighting, then?" Marth replied, as he, guess what, avoided and reflected Meta Knight's attacks. This story isn't gonna be repetitive at all, is it?

"BECAUSE THAT'S MY THING!" Meta Knight yelled, as he… God this plot needs to get moving.

After that witty and intelligent remark, evil itself started crapping all over Marth's Kingdom, and Primid's began rising from it. Meta Knight and Marth, being the intelligent characters from two intelligent franchises, keep fighting each other.

"Alright, alright!" Marth yelled in anger, "Can we just stop fighting and move the plot along?"

"Who gives a crap about the plot?!" Meta Knight retorted, "I don't even have a backstory! Let's just fight!"

"Are you freaking serious?!" Marth argued, "This was like, a two second long cutscene in the actual game!"

"We're padding the chapter length," The Author informed them, "Sooooo, yeah, keep fighting. Screw the plot."

"I AGREE!" Meta Knight cried as he attacked.

While they do that, let's see what these two Primids are talking about. What? You want the plot to move along? Too bad, Primid time.

Primid X (because I'm just so goddamned good at naming characters) looked on at the fight and sighed, "Hey, buddy", he said as he tapped his friend's shoulder, "We're gonna die, aren't we?"

"What?" Primid X's friend, Primid Y, asked, "Why do you think we're gonna die?"

Primid X sighed, yet again, "Because the two cheapest characters in the game are fighting each other right in front of us."

"Okay, two things," Primid Y said, "First of all, we should really stop being so meta. Second, they've been fighting repetitively for the past billion paragraphs! If they were going to attack, they would've already." Primid Y assured.

There was an awkward pause between the two, as they watched the fight. The silence lasted about as long as it took you to read this stupid paragraph.

"You know, if this were a crappy fan fiction comedy, I would've been killed while saying that li- DYING CURRENTLY!" Primid Y yelled as Marth sliced the Battery-Power-Baddie in half.

"THAT JOKE WASN'T FUNNY!" Primid X cried as Meta Knight brutally sliced him with his sword.

Yeah, they decided to move on with the plot. I'd tell you how, but the Author is much too lazy to show it.

It looks like it's time to start the actual level. You know what that means? It means that it's time for the boring paragraph of which I choose which character I play as! Have you not been paying attention at all?

After pondering for several minutes, I make an awful decision. I go to the internet for advice. After researching the darkest, evilest part of the internet, forums, for an absurd amount of time, I have found information on both characters. On one hand, Marth is a 'gay ass japanees fag lol', but on the other hand, Meta Knight is a 'cheap as fuk' character. I have, from that, decided that Marth is slightly more hated. I choose to play as him, because I doubt I have a fan base to piss off.

Marth sighed as he proceeded to murder the fuck out of some motorcycles, "This is gonna get repetitive…"

AND IT DID! After several waves of enemies on a similar scale of overpowered-ness that Meta Knight is on-

"I take offense to that, Narrator Man." Shut up, Meta Knight, shut up.

Anyway, they get through the level, and see Ancient Minister.

"META KNIGHT CUTSCENE ATTACK BITCH!" Meta Knight yelled as he chased after Ancient Minister, who was carrying another bomb to drop.

"Bitch please!" Ancient Minister replied, as he flew.

"Wait a second!" Marth said to his purple ally, "I have a cheap moveset too!" Marth attempts to uppercut Ancient Minister's bomb to death, but fails. "Damn you, plot based weakness!"

"Well, looks like I'ma gonna go drop da bomb aga-"

"IKE SURPRISE ATTACK, BITCH!" Ike cried as he Great Aether'd da bomb.

"I'm blasting off agaaaaaain!" Ancient Minister yelled as he flew off, with his dropping bomb destroyed.

Ike landed square on the ground, panting, "So, guys, what did you think?"

There was an awkward pause, "… I'm trying to make that _my_ catchphrase…" Meta Knight sighed.

After that conversation, which was sadly of normal quality for this series, we get another level.

"Holy Pauletena! I'm gonna be in a level!" Ike said enthusiastically. Haha, no you're not Ike, no you're not. Since this chapter has had enough padding, we don't need to go through the gameplay of this game! Off to continue the plot!

Luigi, the mustachioed wuss, walked on a beaten path.

"Hopefully nothing bad is going to happen to the Luigi…"

Going the other direction was Wally Waddle Dee, (master assassin), muttering to himself, because he's creepy like that. "Time for your time… Time for Wally, master assassin!"

Wally approached Luigi, who went into fighting stance, "I warn you, Luigi know plot-fu!"

"PLOT-FU IS NO MATCH FOR HAMMER!" King Dedede yelled, in his southern accent, at Luigi.

Luigi screamed, "NOT A PENGUIN! I'm-a sorry they made the power-up out of your cousin's skin…"

King Dedede's hammer swung down, knocking Luigi into the sky, "Five, four, three, two, one…"

Luigi's trophy fell down ontop of Wally, Master Assassin. Yes, we're making him a butt monkey too. We surely don't have enough of those!

"Well, that was extremely plot relevant!" Dedede said with pride. He then saw Wario's Vaguely Hover Car-esque vehicle. "DAMN. Those would be great for my vaguely-defined goal!"

King Dedede, using Luigi as bait, proceeds to steal Wario's Hover Car thing. Don't ask how, I'm too lazy to narrate it.

… Wow, that's a disappointing ending. Quick, review and express your violent, unhealthy hate of this story!

**Author's Note: Yeah, if you couldn't tell, I have no idea how to end this chapter. Sue me.**


End file.
